I am about to embark on letting go of a very old belief in my life.  I will share it with you in the hope that it helps someone – although it makes me a bit vulnerable!

I have realised that deep in my unconscious, (although I had always believed my childhood was fine cos I had a wonderful, loving mother), somewhere I had a deep seated dislike and distrust of men! My father was an alcoholic and they divorced when I was 5.

This  has made life very difficult for my husband!  Who it turns out is a patient saint! Gosh it took a long time for me to ‘get’ that I was creating my own reality with my beliefs.  I knew it ‘in my head’, but not as a real ‘knowing’ where I took responsiblity for it – and changed it.

I hope this is not too personal and boring for others but I have discovered along the way that there are many women who do not respect and admire men generally! And vice versa.  Of course, we have to be discerning – there are many who may need to change before we respect and admire their actions or words, but as human spirits we need to respect and admire all the human spirits around us!

As we start off the new year, examine your deeply held beliefs about the opposite sex. If you are a bloke reading this – how was your relationship with your mother – what do you really feel about her?  Because that represents how you will think all women are at some level!

Look at your relationships and see if there are any patterns which may give you a clue – cos often how we feel about the opposite sex is completely out of our awareness. And even if we are aware, we often don’t understand the significance of it and how it affects our daily interactions.  (Note – like me!)

This is a big concept for all of us – what do you really believe about the opposite sex? What do you tell yourself about them? And is it really true? Or just your perception, based on your experiences?

Happy New Year to everyone and I hope 2010 brings you all the joy you can imagine – and the ability to see the true spirit of everyone in your life!

As we go into Christmas, try to practice compassion. Everyone in our family is fighting their own internal battle with fears of some sort,  and with all of us together again it’s easy to trigger old patterns.  With a different focus we can avoid many of the emotionally draining scenarios that leave us grateful Christmas only happens once a year!

So my tip for Christmas is to focus on being compassionate.  That means sending love to others, holding them in your heart, being patient, helping them when it is right to so do, and trying to see the world through their eyes and perceptions. There are many more ways to be compassionate but these are just a few hints! At this time of joy to the world, focus on one of the 12 pillars of joy – feel compassion for others AND yourself.

Happy , blessed Christmas to those who celebrate it and happy holidays to those who celebrate other events!

These videos are from various speaking engagements I’ve had over the years.  Hope they bring you some joy!!

“Listening is a creative force that transforms relationships. Listening is a sacred art. It is an awareness that not only are we present to each other, we are present to something that is spiritual, holy, sacred.”

From “Practicing the Sacred Art of Listening” by Kay Lindahl; (www.sacredlistening.com) Reprinted with permission.

God “talks” to us in many “languages”! He also uses our body (“gut feelings”); instincts; intuition; inspiration; angels who appear in our lives as people or in dreams; a sense of knowing; books we read; ads we see; evangelists or speakers we watch; children; life dramas; misfortunes and the list goes on. He has to be this flexible because few of us ever stop to listen directly to Him!

I remember going to church one day, about a year after I had moved to Dallas from Australia. The pastor at Highland Park United Methodist Church, Mark Craig, had given another brilliant sermon. And I was once again crying! I didn’t understand why this happened every time I went to this church. I would be perfectly okay before I went in, and within minutes, I would start to cry.

It was a different sort of crying from the usual. Tears would stream out of my eyes, but I wasn’t crying like I do if I am upset. I started to think there was something wrong with me! That perhaps I was much more lonely than I thought (do you know that I just mistyped, “I was much more lovely than I thought.” Was it a slip—or was God talking to me just then? Ha ha!)

Well after a while, I realized that many times when I went into that church, a feeling of love overwhelmed me. And I didn’t know anyone in this congregation, and they did not seem particularly welcoming. It dawned on me that this was God’s love I was feeling and I was crying with joy. (Duh. It takes some of us longer than others!)

Once I realized that, I felt more sane. I was also told recently that the Holy Spirit can move people to laughter, dancing or tears—cleansing tears, but that was a first for me.

But back to the day I was talking about. This particular day, I was sobbing, not just crying. I cried all the way home and thought, “What is wrong with me?”. I wondered if I should read the Bible when I arrived home to see if there were any clues in it, because I had no idea what was wrong! (This was pretty unusual, as I did not read the Bible much then either.)

Once home, I could not read as the tears were blurring my vision so badly. So I just had to sit there. (God was moving in his mysterious ways!) As I sat, I became aware of a feeling of being overwhelmed. I knew I had some big task to do, but I didn’t know what it was, and I was sure I was inadequate for it, whatever it was!

After waking up to that, it was as if there was a guardian angel or some sense of a being, sitting and smiling benignly at me. I could not see or hear it, but I could sense it. I could sense the smile, and the love that was like that of an indulgent and patient parent, and I “heard” (but really sensed), “Do you think God would give you a task to do and not give you all the skills or the help you needed to do it?”

That was it. I stopped crying instantly. I smiled and thought, “of course not!” I continued with my day feeling energised!

Have you ever had an experience with a similar result? I bet God tries to touch us all the time, and we don’t stop long enough to hear him unless we are facing a crisis.

Take time to pray and to listen to God. Ask him what he wants you to do. What is his will for you? Are you on the right path? Importantly, ask him how you can be a blessing to others. Ask him to help you—and pray with joyful expectation. God hears every prayer, and sends blessings and grace—so stay open and watch for the miracles. Be patient with a heart full of hope that the answer will come when the timing is perfect—for you—even though it might not look like it right now.

Always have the intent in your heart to be doing what God wants of you. Ask, “What do you need God? What can I do for you today?”

Pray all the time, but part of prayer is “listening” to the answers He sends you. They may be in things you see or pass by, strangers you meet, your friends or family—you never know where the answer will come from so stay awake; be conscious; expect to find the answer somewhere.

He always answers. Always.

“Don’t hold onto your anger, hurt and pain. They steal your energy and keep you from love”

Anonymous

Have you ever woken feeling pretty energetic and then encountered someone who leaves you feeling completely drained in only five minutes? These people are real and I call them energy suckers. They are psychic vampires!

I bet at some stage in your work career, you have had someone on your team like this. What was it like when they left? It seems as if the sun came out! Everyone was laughing and happy all of a sudden!

That’s the impact an energy sucker can make in your life. One energy sucker can destroy a very large team! Typically they are pessimists and cynics, and/or they think they are superior. They often put people down to make themselves feel better.

Avoid them like the plague! Do everything you can to limit your time and exposure to these people. If you have to be around them, try to prepare yourself. Imagine there is a cocoon of armor or light or some impenetrable material around you. You can give energy out of this cocoon, but no one can take it out without your permission. This sounds silly but it is pretty effective!

If you live with an energy sucker—try the cocoon. (You can show them the DVD I have available on my web site describing the difference and hopefully they will hear the hint!) Try to counteract the time you have to spend with these energy suckers by hanging around lots of energy givers.

Energy givers are happy, optimistic, upbeat, positive people and they always make us feel better. Hang around them as much as you can. Try to be one as well. Do the things in this book and you automatically become an energy giver!

Whose job is it to teach children optimism? Parents, of course! But because we don’t consciously make it our job to teach children optimism, we often model energy-sucking ways for them. And then we wonder why some, or all, of our children are little energy suckers!

Be cheerful and focus on helping children see the bright side of life, rather than the rush, frustration, anger and disappointment. They will have plenty of time to learn that themselves when they are older.

Today is the day you are to make your home a haven for energy givers. Banish energy suckers! Be positive, optimistic, play and have fun with your family. Laugh a lot.

Be the CEO – the chief energy officer!

Stress is probably our greatest zapper of energy and vitality. Constant stress and pressure are exhausting both mentally and physically. (Remember your adrenal glands and how hard they work when you are stressed.)

Today, do your best to stay calm and peaceful. Watch carefully what you say to yourself as most of our stress comes from our words.

Listen carefully to your internal dialogue and challenge the truth of it. Events that happen are just events. They are neither good nor bad, but we perceive and judge them as good or bad. For example, if we see a strange look on our boss’ face, we suddenly fear we might have done something wrong, when really the boss may have just had a moment of indigestion!

If you worry a lot, think about the value of worrying. Will it change things? Probably not, but you will waste a lot of time. If you are concerned and take action to rectify the situation, you won’t waste time stewing in worry and not doing anything! Try saying, “Oh well…”! I have found many times that if I say, “Oh well…,” I breathe again and relax.

Which brings me to breathing: deep breathing–probably the greatest weapon against stress!

When we feel stressed, our breathing becomes shallow and rapid. There is less oxygen delivered to the brain and we stop thinking clearly.

Notice your breathing today and keep taking deep, long breaths in and out. It’s often the out breath that suffers when you are stressed. Breathe out all the bad stuff.

Can you make a commitment today to not rush anywhere? Sometimes we are so in the habit of rushing we have no idea why we are rushing around our house for no reason! Wake up earlier if you need more time to do what you need to do. Leave the house a little earlier so you are not driving like a crazy person—creating even more stress for yourself and others.

Breathe deeply, slow down, stop stress inducing self talk and you may be surprised at how calm you stay and how much more alive you feel at the end of the day.

“Lack of sleep disrupts every physiologic function in the body. We have nothing in our biology that allows us to adapt to this behavior.”

Eve Van Cauter , Professor of Medicine, University of Chicago.

•permission given Department of Medicine – University of Chicago

”people who are sleep-deprived have elevated levels of substances in the blood that indicate a heightened state of inflammation in the body, which has also recently emerged as a major risk factor for heart disease, stroke, cancer and diabetes.”

Dr Sanjay R. Patel of Harvard Medical School

Quoted in an article by Rob Stein, Washington Post, October 9,2005.

Exercise is critical for us to have health, energy and vitality, and so is sleep.

While we sleep, we heal and recharge our batteries, yet gazillions of people are not sleeping well, partly because we are not exercising enough to make us physically tired!

Instead, we exercise our minds all the time and rarely still them, and so we are constantly feeling stressed. That means we go to sleep exhausted and then find ourselves wide awake at 3 a.m.!

How are your sleep patterns? Generally, to be well, we need about seven hours of sleep a night, which is hard if you have babies, I know! Do you wake up refreshed and alert? If not, here are a few tips to try:

Try to exercise sometime during the day so you have some real physical fatigue—not just mental exhaustion. If you are going to exercise at night, do it before dinner so that you are not energized just before you go to sleep. Do not take your laptop or any work to bed! That will probably make you stay up much later than you planned and stimulate your mind just before sleeping.

Do not watch television in bed. Watching anything other than a meditation channel with soft music and beautiful scenes is unlikely to help you sleep! Instead of zoning out in front of the television, try going to bed and reading an inspirational book until you fall asleep. You might be surprised at how much of a difference this makes.

Or listen to beautiful, relaxing music just before you sleep or as you are falling asleep. Try a meditation tape or a tape of music designed to make you sleep—there are many available. Try to make the room as dark as possible and as quiet as possible.

If you don’t want to read, climb into bed and quietly reflect on the day and focus on things for which you are grateful. Allow in only thoughts of gratitude.

Always have a notepad and pen by your bed. Often when we wake up and can’t go back to sleep, it’s because we think of some brilliant idea and we stay awake (even unconsciously), because we are concerned we will forget our idea. Or we wake and think of some problem that disturbs us, but if we write it down, we can tell ourselves we will worry about it tomorrow at a better time. And that often lets us go back to sleep.

Sometimes before we go to bed, making a list of all the things we have to do the next day helps our mind shut off and lets peaceful sleep drift in. Actually, doing this just before you leave work is better timing!

Sometimes, if you write down a problem before you go to sleep, and ask God to provide you with a solution, you will be amazed at how the answer is just there when you wake up. Or it may come to you in the shower! It’s wonderful how often this works, as long as you let the problem go once you have written it down, and trust the answer will come.

If you wake up and can’t go back to sleep, try focusing on your breathing. Just imagine the breath flowing in and out of your lungs gently and rhythmically. Maybe imagine a color with it, as well. Or create the feeling that you are floating on a huge, very still lake—you are safe, protected and fully supported as you completely relax into the feeling of lying on this lake.

If possible, try to set up a rhythm and a set of rituals for going to bed. Aim to go to bed at the same time each night—the earlier the better. Some people say that every hour of sleep before midnight is worth two after midnight! Perhaps you can have a warm bath or shower as part of the ritual before you go to bed. Talk only about positive things—not about all your worries and problems. Maybe you and your partner can give each other a massage once a week.

You may wish to pray (on your knees or not) for a few minutes each night just before you sleep. Allow God to hold you and comfort you. Praying for those you love, then counting your blessings, dwelling on gratitude to God is one of the best ways I know to go to sleep!

Sometimes what we eat before we sleep can make a difference. For example, bananas have magnesium and seratonin; chamomile tea has a mild sedative effect; warm milk, almonds, and slices of whole wheat toast actually contain tryptophan, which relaxes us; and a tiny bit of raw honey works too.

Listening to what we say to ourselves as we go to sleep and staying away from the television and computer for at least an hour before bed may be the only things we need to do to transform our sleep and allow us to wake up feeling refreshed and alert.

And speaking of waking up—try to find an alarm that does not cause you to sit bolt upright in bed with terror! Something that welcomes you gently into the day is a much better way to start than the sudden jarring that many alarms provide.

Today—prepare to sleep well and make this your new rhythm.

Go through a typical day in your mind from the minute you wake up to when you go to bed. How much do you move? Is going from chair to chair your primary source of movement? Do you stand on escalators rather than walking? Do you drive when you could walk; take the elevator when you could use the stairs; send emails to the person across the floor rather than walking to them?

What do you do when you arrive home? Do you do active or vigorous housework or have you hired a cleaner and a gardener to save you the effort of moving?

Think about your posture at work and at home. Do you slouch over your desk? Do you ever stand and stretch? Do you have pain in your neck, shoulders or low back? These are often caused by, or contributed to, by your posture and lack of movement and are warning signs that you need to move!

Think very honestly about your movement levels during the day—it may save you years of pain later.

The vast majority of us have become sedentary in our lifestyles. We don’t notice how little we move from our computers, or how much email allows us to send notes to each other rather than getting up and (gasp) making human contact! Or we text message from one room to another!

And walk to the store? Are you kidding!

The human body must move. Everything stops working well when we stop moving. You only have to see the effect paralysis has on muscles, digestion and metabolism and joints to understand that. Movement to joints is like spraying the lubricant WD-40 into them! If we don’t stretch and use our muscles, we end up old and stuck when we are young.

I am 54 and my joints are almost as flexible as they were when I was 20—and that is the way it is meant to be. I don’t have a special body that is more elastic than everyone else’s. I have just kept mine moving.

I have done yoga for years—and not fancy stuff. I just do eight exercises a day. I stay active and am conscious most of the time of my posture. (And my husband’s! It drives him nuts, but he will thank me when we are both 90 and active.)

As a physical therapist, I saw thousands of people with pain—and the vast bulk of it was caused by their inactive lifestyles. People in their 70s and 80s are often frail and fall because their muscles are weak and they shuffle. I am on a campaign to keep everyone strong before shuffling sets in!

Our former next-door neighbor in Dallas is a lovely, active 83-year-old. She lives on her own and is amazing. Recently, she had to stop walking on her beloved bird trails because of pain in her knee. Out of desperation, she started going to aerobics and weights classes. She is a new woman! She says she feel so much better, has no pain and has a new lease on life. That’s what exercise and strengthening work does – at any age. (Of course, you need to check with your doctor before you embark on an exercise program.)

From the age of 45, we really need to be building up our muscles. Of course we also need aerobic work as well—but with age we need both. Sorry!

But wait, there’s more! We need to build movement into our daily lives at the very least. I sit on a big exercise ball when I work because it makes me move more than a chair. (Be careful if you decide to do this that you are stable and that the ball will not roll away from you!) I make sure I stand and stretch every 30 minutes.

Will you do that? Just stand up and stretch as much as you comfortably can – just for a minute—that’s all. It can be for a very short time but it has a great effect on your body and your energy levels.

Can you use the stairs at work instead of the elevator or escalator? Can you park the car further away and walk in safety? Can you go for a walk at lunchtime instead of swapping one seat for another as you eat? Can you play a game with your children instead of all of you sitting in front of a television? Walk daily if your neighborhood is safe. If not, can you run up and down your stairs at home for 20 minutes? (check with the doctor before you start if you are not used to exercise!) Or buy a treadmill? Or clean the bathroom or kitchen vigorously?

There are many ways to bring movement into your home and workplace. Be creative and find as many as you can. Your energy levels will skyrocket if you make movement and exercise a part of your daily—or even weekly—routine.

But wait, there’s even more!

Exercise is also the best way to bust stress. And pain! If you feel burning, tingling, tightness, stiffness, numbness, heaviness, dragging, discomfort and pulling anywhere—your body is screaming out—MOVE! These signs are the warning signs of impending damage our body gives us. If we feel pain, it’s usually too late, and damage is done. So listen to your body and stretch it more.

Think for a moment how seldom children sit and stay still for long periods: They are forever moving and playing. Limit the time your children spend mesmerized in front of the television or the computer—they are the only things that can stop a child doing what they know is critical—moving!

Today is the day to make movement and exercise a regular routine in your life and that of your family.

It is amazing how quickly the body can dehydrate. By the time we actually feel thirsty, we are probably already dehydrated.

Most of us are frequently dehydrated and don’t even know it. It is better to drink small amounts of water every 30 minutes (apart from when you are eating) instead of drinking a full glass twice a day!

And often when we feel hungry, we are actually thirsty. Next time you feel hungry, have a glass of good quality spring water and see what happens to your hunger. (Or just drink tap water that has a filter for fluoride and chlorine removal.)

In America and most western countries, tap water is usually germ-free but we do need a good quality filtering system to remove the chlorine and fluoride. You may want to do a search on the web and read about the potentially harmful effects of long-term sodium fluoride (added to water and toothpaste) ingestion. It’s believed that calcium fluoride, as it occurs in natural vegetables, like cauliflower, is extremely beneficial to bones and teeth. Some people believe sodium fluoride does not protect your teeth and does not keep your bones strong—and instead that it often has the reverse effect!

If you are thinking, “I drink a lot of sodas and coffee and tea, so I can’t be dehydrated,” you’re wrong! Did you know that the average American drinks 52.9 gallons of carbonated soft drinks (full of high fructose corn syrup or artificial sweeteners) a year.

Caffeine is dehydrating, apart from all the other things it does to your body. Why do you think people have withdrawal symptoms such as headaches and behavior changes and bad moods when they suddenly stop drinking caffeine?

If you want to drink a lot of something other than water, there are many benefits in green tea. Find an organic green tea that you like and drink it when you feel like a break from water. I figure if we bless our food before we eat, why not bless our water!

Do you know that one of main ingredients by far in an average soda is high fructose corn syrup (HFCS)? It is not natural fructose—it is highly processed and comes from corn. Research is showing that high fructose corn syrup is associated with obesity. In an article in the Dec. 4, 2005 Seattle Times, a Dr. George Bray was quoted as saying, “High-fructose corn syrup isn’t completely responsible for the nation’s 6 million overweight children” but added, “it’s a big part of the problem.” Do yourself a favor and learn more about HFCS—it’s in almost every processed food item you buy.

Please think twice before you drink ordinary sodas! Keep them out of your home and teach your children to drink water or natural juices. There are some sodas available at the health food store or in the health section of your supermarket that contain natural fruit juice sweeteners or evaporated cane juice. Read your labels carefully— and remember “natural” on the label does not always mean the same natural we are imagining!

And before you breathe a sigh of relief, thinking, “I drink diet sodas,” they are many who believe diet drinks to be equally bad! Diet drinks have artificial sweeteners that are ARTIFICIAL! Warning!!

You may want to read “Sweet Deception” by Dr. Joseph Mercola or “Aspartame Disease—An Ignored Epidemic” by H.J. Roberts for more disturbing, scientific details.

Today is the day to start drinking more water, preferably spring water or filtered tap water—a mouthful or two every 30 minutes and blessing it before we drink it!

“The secret of your future is hidden in your daily routine.”

Televangelist and minister Mike Murdoch

Our body renews itself on a regular basis using building materials directly derived from what we put into it. We become what we eat, so what you put into your body should be very carefully selected—it will become part of you soon!

If you buy processed foods, you may be compromising your health every time you eat them. I know you have heard of the dangers of trans fatty acids, excessive sugars and salts in most processed foods, and of high fructose corn syrup, which is in almost everything we buy. You may have seen articles on artificial sweeteners, flavors, colors, and what they do to us.

Pay attention to these warnings—they are not written by people who want to destroy you—but they might want to destroy your habit of drinking diet sodas!

Today is the day to observe your eating, shopping and drinking patterns and routines. Where do you shop? Do they have good, fresh foods? Do you look at the ingredient list on every processed item you buy?

Do you prepare and cook food yourself or just buy it all pre-prepared? Do you buy organic or local fresh food when you can? Organic foods are grown without pesticides. Pesticides are toxic and are usually on, or in, the fruits and vegetables we buy—wash any item very thoroughly if it is not organic. Root vegetables and potatoes absorb pesticides in the soil so try to at least buy organic potatoes and root vegetables this week, and from now on if you can.

If you live largely on processed foods, try to change this pattern. It may take more time to buy fresh food and cook it, but you will feel better; bond with your family more (especially if you make meal times a family affair!); teach your children how to cook; give them a better start in life, and be planting the seeds for a much healthier old age for them—and you.

What about lunch—can you find a place that makes organic salads or sandwiches? Try to avoid eating the potato chips that come with sandwiches and ask for fruit instead. Can you make something healthy at home the night before and take this for lunch? Or take leftovers from dinner and save money?

SNACKS

If you snack during the day—do you really need to? And if you must, on what do you snack? Every mouthful you eat can either be beneficial or harmful. Do you choose fruit or candy, cookies or a protein bar with the least amount of sugar you can find, fresh nuts and seeds (walnuts are great!), or vegetable sticks?

Think about what you drink during the day. Is it water, caffeine or soda? Most of us are chronically dehydrated—we need to drink more water, especially if we live in air conditioning all the time. Put some lemon or lime wedges in it if you want flavor!

Do you live on coffee and sodas at work? If you must have something hot, try tea. Buy your own herbal teas so you can enjoy more variety in flavors It is suspected that problems start when people consume several caffeinated drinks a day. Apart from coffee or tea, there are other sources of caffeine like standard sodas and energy bars, so be conscious of how much caffeine you really are taking in. If you go off it and have withdrawal signs—it may be indicating it was too much!

Squeeze your own juices or visit a juice bar—vegetable juices work wonderfully to renew energy.

HOW WE EAT

Also have a look at how you eat! If you are shoving your food down in a hurry, while you’re typing, writing or driving, your body cannot really digest it in the optimal way.

We need to have little rituals while we eat: Stop; sit; bless the food; eat it slowly, and chew each mouthful 30 times. Yes, 30 times! Try doing that and you’ll see how most of us don’t really chew our food at all. We are not even aware that we shove our next mouthful in before we have even swallowed the previous one.

Chewing 30 times allows the sensory systems set up in the mouth to prepare the stomach and digestive system for the food that is about to arrive—the process triggers the release of the appropriate digestion enzymes. (Ideally, we should not watch television either while we eat. Especially if the show is violent or gruesome because that is sure to affect our digestion!)

Avoiding drinking water while you are eating since it dilutes your digestive juices and interferes with healthy digestion.

Many of the bad eating and drinking habits we have are just that—habits. Once we can see the patterns or rituals we are stuck in, we can change them! We can create new rituals and patterns that help our digestion and health.

Here’s a great strategy: Ask yourself, “Does my health want this or my mouth (or appetite)?” Very often it’s thirst or our taste buds that trigger our desire to eat. Stop and decide whether it’s a stomach need or a mouth need or try drinking a glass of water, and you may be able to put off eating something unhealthy.

Do something to make your food exciting—to create an appetite! Set the table beautifully; present the food so it looks wonderful on the plate; have an excited attitude as you present the food. When possible, involve your family so they enjoy the preparation of the food. Let them be involved in some of the decision-making process—make it a fun event. Create, today, a new and much healthier rhythm and routine of eating and drinking for you and your family.

P.S. Remember to prepare your food with love! What you are feeling and thinking as you prepare food can make its way into the final product! Try to be in a loving state and be thankful for the food as you prepare it. Say Grace and thank God for your food and ask him to bless it.

We may not be able to scientifically prove that these things make a difference yet, but I bet we will one day!

(If you’d like to learn more about nutrition and good food choices, you may want to browse through this web site: http://www.healthgoods.com/education/Nutrition_Information/Nutrition_Short_Course/state_of_food.htm)