I am not sure how you ad a link that isn’t enormously long so I am sorry you have to cut and paste this one!!

http://www.balancedmedia.com.au/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=133:jq&catid=34:health&Itemid=40

zooties!

http://tinyurl.com/36vwxu2
Hope you find it interesting!  zooties

Amanda

(I found a way to link you to amazon if you click on the image – TA DA!!)

Another book that’s worth reading as part of a ‘keep your heart healthy until you’re really old’ strategy is “Anger Kills” by Redford and Virginia Williams (Time Press).  It would appear that having an angry , hostile heart is a significant factor in the development of heart disease – not just the important usual aspects of obesity, smoking, stress, lack of exercise etc.

Apparently Type A people are not automatically sitting ducks for a heart attack – it’s the Type A with and angry hostile heart.  Dr Williams who was Director of behavioural research at Duke University, North Carolina called these people Type H.  He defined them as ‘cynical, distrustful, angry and more likely to act on it”.

He asks a few questions to give you an idea of how likely you are to be type H – for example, do you remember irritating incidents and get mad all over again?  If your hairdresser trims off too much, do you fume for days?  When someone cuts you off in traffic, do you flash your lights and honk your horn?  Are you often irritated by others incompetence?   These are just a few questions to ask yourself to give you insight into how you habitually respond/react to difficulties.

The anger theory does raise some interesting opportunities for families!  Ask yourself how your parents responded to anger.  With sulking?  Passive aggression?  Full on physical aggression?  Verbal abuse?  Shouting, ranting and raving?   Did they deprive you of love or affection?  

Did they never mention it again so that it lay unresolved for months or years – a big black cloud hanging over your head?   Or did they realise that the anger was a response (or, worse, reaction) to a problem or situation, and deal with the problem or cause?  What anger management did you learn from your parents?  Your siblings?  

Do you recognise when you are angry or hostile? Does it register that you are feeling like throttling someone!   Have you noticed that your breathing is coming in short , shallow bursts;  or that your shoulders are hunched up around your ears?  That your voice is strained and tense?    

How do you behave when you are feeling angry?  Do others know you are angry before you do?    Ask your partner or children how they know you are angry – and keep breathing as they answer you!   No point in asking them and then losing it because you  think they are talking rubbish!

What sorts of things make you angry?  Who makes you angry?  Why?  Then examine your answers;   are you reacting to a situation, or responding?   Reacting is a knee jerk, without thought or consideration reaction to something – before you realise it, you have shouted at everyone and three people are in tears and the rest just hate you!   You spend the next three days feeling guilty and upset and more angry but this time with yourself!   Not very smart behaviour.

Or do you recognise when you are angry, stop, take a few breaths, think about what is happening and why you are feeling this way and count to 100.

Or even walk away for a few minutes (or a couple of years!)?   Then you come back with the  appropriate response – even if it is anger.  If this is you – great!  You are a star at anger management!

Of course, fear is at the basis of most anger! So it might be helpful to ask yourself what are you fearing right now – you may have to search quite hard as the fear is often so embedded and deep we are not even aware of it.

Either way, talking about anger in an open and frank way , considering the aspects I have highlighted with your family is a great way to explore yourself and your reactions, as well as helping your children have an insight into anger what fear is behind it and the way they deal with it.   

It may be the best gift you could ever give yourself or your children.  

PS your heart will be pretty grateful as well.  So much less painful than keeling over with a massive heart attack!

PPS reading the chapter on Forgiveness in The Gospel of Joy is a great idea as well!

A very wise friend of mine, Gayle, told me a wonderful story. She was speaking with a young man who was dealing with a “difficult” person at work – someone no one liked or liked working with. My friend told him to see if he could think of one thing good about this person. He thought for some time and finally said, “She looks good in blue.” Then Gayle suggested to the young man that he return to work and constantly focus on that good thought and, if he was able to, tell the person what he liked about her. And guess what – it worked! The young man focused on that one good thing and was able to connect to that difficult person – and then find a whole lot of other good things about her!

The interesting thing is that it’s all a matter of perception. It’s all about being grateful. Or not! Practicing gratitude is not something most of us do every day. But our lives would change if it was – if we become grateful for things at home, grateful for things at work and grateful for at least one thing we find in what we perceive as a ‘difficult’ person.

If you really are just too busy to mentally remind yourself to be grateful then physically remind yourself. Go out and find a pair of children’s plastic sunglasses or visit amandagore.com and see our heart shaped gratitude glasses. Knock the dark lenses out of them and wear them. If you’re worried people in the office or your spouse might start to think you’re a complete space cadet because you’re walking around with lens -less kiddies glasses on all day then just keep them nearby as a reminder! Gratitude glasses are a practical way of finding joy in everything you do!

So whenever something or someone is pulling you down – put on your gratitude glasses. Make the choice. We can perceive a situation or a person as a gift for which we are grateful, or as a curse which ruins our moments. You can be grateful to have a warm body lying next to you in bed or grateful to have the whole bed to yourself; grateful to have the promotion at work or grateful you don’t have to deal with more responsibility. With gratitude everything looks good! We can always find something positive to look at even if we have to wear funny glasses to find it. So put on your gratitude glasses and keep them on until you feel better!

Stay tuned for the latest exciting news about the new JOY PROJECT which we are forming!  We are building a global joy community!  I hope you will all be involved!

I am about to embark on letting go of a very old belief in my life.  I will share it with you in the hope that it helps someone – although it makes me a bit vulnerable!

I have realised that deep in my unconscious, (although I had always believed my childhood was fine cos I had a wonderful, loving mother), somewhere I had a deep seated dislike and distrust of men! My father was an alcoholic and they divorced when I was 5.

This  has made life very difficult for my husband!  Who it turns out is a patient saint! Gosh it took a long time for me to ‘get’ that I was creating my own reality with my beliefs.  I knew it ‘in my head’, but not as a real ‘knowing’ where I took responsiblity for it – and changed it.

I hope this is not too personal and boring for others but I have discovered along the way that there are many women who do not respect and admire men generally! And vice versa.  Of course, we have to be discerning – there are many who may need to change before we respect and admire their actions or words, but as human spirits we need to respect and admire all the human spirits around us!

As we start off the new year, examine your deeply held beliefs about the opposite sex. If you are a bloke reading this – how was your relationship with your mother – what do you really feel about her?  Because that represents how you will think all women are at some level!

Look at your relationships and see if there are any patterns which may give you a clue – cos often how we feel about the opposite sex is completely out of our awareness. And even if we are aware, we often don’t understand the significance of it and how it affects our daily interactions.  (Note – like me!)

This is a big concept for all of us – what do you really believe about the opposite sex? What do you tell yourself about them? And is it really true? Or just your perception, based on your experiences?

Happy New Year to everyone and I hope 2010 brings you all the joy you can imagine – and the ability to see the true spirit of everyone in your life!

As we go into Christmas, try to practice compassion. Everyone in our family is fighting their own internal battle with fears of some sort,  and with all of us together again it’s easy to trigger old patterns.  With a different focus we can avoid many of the emotionally draining scenarios that leave us grateful Christmas only happens once a year!

So my tip for Christmas is to focus on being compassionate.  That means sending love to others, holding them in your heart, being patient, helping them when it is right to so do, and trying to see the world through their eyes and perceptions. There are many more ways to be compassionate but these are just a few hints! At this time of joy to the world, focus on one of the 12 pillars of joy – feel compassion for others AND yourself.

Happy , blessed Christmas to those who celebrate it and happy holidays to those who celebrate other events!

These videos are from various speaking engagements I’ve had over the years.  Hope they bring you some joy!!

“Listening is a creative force that transforms relationships. Listening is a sacred art. It is an awareness that not only are we present to each other, we are present to something that is spiritual, holy, sacred.”

From “Practicing the Sacred Art of Listening” by Kay Lindahl; (www.sacredlistening.com) Reprinted with permission.

God “talks” to us in many “languages”! He also uses our body (“gut feelings”); instincts; intuition; inspiration; angels who appear in our lives as people or in dreams; a sense of knowing; books we read; ads we see; evangelists or speakers we watch; children; life dramas; misfortunes and the list goes on. He has to be this flexible because few of us ever stop to listen directly to Him!

I remember going to church one day, about a year after I had moved to Dallas from Australia. The pastor at Highland Park United Methodist Church, Mark Craig, had given another brilliant sermon. And I was once again crying! I didn’t understand why this happened every time I went to this church. I would be perfectly okay before I went in, and within minutes, I would start to cry.

It was a different sort of crying from the usual. Tears would stream out of my eyes, but I wasn’t crying like I do if I am upset. I started to think there was something wrong with me! That perhaps I was much more lonely than I thought (do you know that I just mistyped, “I was much more lovely than I thought.” Was it a slip—or was God talking to me just then? Ha ha!)

Well after a while, I realized that many times when I went into that church, a feeling of love overwhelmed me. And I didn’t know anyone in this congregation, and they did not seem particularly welcoming. It dawned on me that this was God’s love I was feeling and I was crying with joy. (Duh. It takes some of us longer than others!)

Once I realized that, I felt more sane. I was also told recently that the Holy Spirit can move people to laughter, dancing or tears—cleansing tears, but that was a first for me.

But back to the day I was talking about. This particular day, I was sobbing, not just crying. I cried all the way home and thought, “What is wrong with me?”. I wondered if I should read the Bible when I arrived home to see if there were any clues in it, because I had no idea what was wrong! (This was pretty unusual, as I did not read the Bible much then either.)

Once home, I could not read as the tears were blurring my vision so badly. So I just had to sit there. (God was moving in his mysterious ways!) As I sat, I became aware of a feeling of being overwhelmed. I knew I had some big task to do, but I didn’t know what it was, and I was sure I was inadequate for it, whatever it was!

After waking up to that, it was as if there was a guardian angel or some sense of a being, sitting and smiling benignly at me. I could not see or hear it, but I could sense it. I could sense the smile, and the love that was like that of an indulgent and patient parent, and I “heard” (but really sensed), “Do you think God would give you a task to do and not give you all the skills or the help you needed to do it?”

That was it. I stopped crying instantly. I smiled and thought, “of course not!” I continued with my day feeling energised!

Have you ever had an experience with a similar result? I bet God tries to touch us all the time, and we don’t stop long enough to hear him unless we are facing a crisis.

Take time to pray and to listen to God. Ask him what he wants you to do. What is his will for you? Are you on the right path? Importantly, ask him how you can be a blessing to others. Ask him to help you—and pray with joyful expectation. God hears every prayer, and sends blessings and grace—so stay open and watch for the miracles. Be patient with a heart full of hope that the answer will come when the timing is perfect—for you—even though it might not look like it right now.

Always have the intent in your heart to be doing what God wants of you. Ask, “What do you need God? What can I do for you today?”

Pray all the time, but part of prayer is “listening” to the answers He sends you. They may be in things you see or pass by, strangers you meet, your friends or family—you never know where the answer will come from so stay awake; be conscious; expect to find the answer somewhere.

He always answers. Always.