MONDAY: BE GENEROUS WITH YOUR TIME

Just because you can’t do everything, you should still do everything you can.

Time is one of the most precious commodities we have. Love is the most precious and we should love enough to give our time. This is an investment with an abundant return. After we have passed, it will live on in those in whom we have invested, and in whom they love and so on.

Today is the day for reflection on the time you give to others, especially your children, partners and parents.

Is it really so important that you have a fancy expensive car and large television in every room if it means you have to work so hard you rarely see your children while they’re awake? If you have a hobby or sport that takes you away from your family in the only spare time you have, you need to find a balance between giving to yourself and giving to those who love you.

Parents who are elderly and living alone need special attention. We think they are just fine and we call infrequently—and yes, they have their own lives, but many are older and more fragile than we realize. They need more loving care than we currently give them.

One of the hardest things I had to deal with after Mum died was the quality of the time I gave her when I was with her. I spoke to her every day; would visit her in Australia twice a year, and tried to do things she would like to do. But I would also fix up everything that I thought needed to be fixed up and bought and sorted out.

I was very busy doing stuff for my Mum but I didn’t spend nearly enough time just being with her. It might have been just sitting and saying nothing sometimes; or having a drink with her and chatting, or telling her about what I was thinking and feeling and what was going on in my life. It might have been just listening to her talk about whatever she wanted to.

I know in my heart that my Mum wanted this more than anything, but I could not see it with my eyes because I had all these things to do for her. Wrong! Don’t make the same mistake I made. Balance the stuff you have to do around your loved ones with just being with them and loving them—and letting them love you.

Even if you can’t be with your parents physically, call them at least once a week and do nothing else while you are on the phone. Hear them with your heart and they will feel loved. This may be your last conversation with them so always make it a good one.

People debate the merits of quality versus quantity of time we spend with people, but I reckon we need both. We need to give lots of good quality time. Try to spend more time with your parents. Even if you only have five minutes, it’s still a wonderful gift when you are there in body, heart, mind and spirit.

We so often feel aggravated about the time we have to spend with people when we are rushed or busy, and it usually shows when we are with them. If this is the way you find yourself, it’s better you spend less time with them but have the right spirit. To be really present while we are with someone else means we have to give them our undivided attention and listen. Stop the judging and self-talk that says, “I don’t have time for this” or “Hurry up, will you?” or even, “Here we go again, the same old story.”

Most of our parents made a lot of sacrifices for us. It’s a small price to pay to return some of the love they gave us in the past. It’s all about flow, remember?

Make time today to be fully present with the most important people in your life, and then make some time for yourself. See if you can establish a rhythm where you can continue to be there for them, and yourself, in some way. You will see great joy in the eyes of the people for whom you do this.

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