Stress is a fact of life , it doesn’t have to be a way of life!

And it seems stress is here to stay – in a big way! People are expected to do more, with less, in less time.

We are in the age of materialism with the ‘nightmare of the two career couple’, where both partners are working , and bringing up children. More single parents exist than ever before. Change is constantly swirling around us – at work, home and in society. Citys are bigger, faster and more unsafe. AND we have the big R word hovering!

We have ‘more’ material possessions than we have ever had before – yet there is more unhappiness than ever before.

In short, life is chaotic, at laser track speed and most of us are frightened because we don’t have a guide book!

In a rather bizarre experiment, some researcher somewhere, dropped a frog into a pan of boiling water. Of course, the frog immediately jumped out. Same researcher put a frog (I presume it was another frog!) into a saucepan of cool water, which was on the stove. The hotplate was turned onto low and gradually increased in temperature so the frog’s water temperature slowly increased. The frog, adapting to the slow change occuring around it, allowed itself to be boiled to death. That’s not a happy story, but it does demonstrate that sudden change may have advantages! It’s a different way of thinking about the change occurring around us. We can be upset by it or we can see it in a different light.

Life is really not about reality. It’s about our perception of what’s happening around us and to us – what we say to ourselves about it. That’s the beauty of the human brain – we have choices. We have options in terms of how to behave or respond or think in the face of stressful situations. Between now and next week, think about how you think about the stressful situations that occur. And then compare them with the reality versus your perception. Ask others for their objective opinion.

The meaning of the word ’stress’ has changed in the last twenty years. It has become synonomous with distress. Years ago, it was generally accepted that we all needed some ’stress’ to function well. What they really meant was stimulation. Without any stimulation – if we are put in a white room , with no sound, movement, colour or change in lights – we go nuts! Being bored can have a similar physiological response or chemical change, in the body, to being very tense. So we all need some stimulation , some interests in life to keep us at our peak.

There is little chance of people dying of lack of stimulation – or boredom – these days! It’s more likely that that most of us are lacking in energy and vitality, feeling overwhelmed, constantly exhausted, and having massive sense of humour failures! I think it’s called Burn Out – the big B.O.!

The best way to avoid the big B.O., is to have a balanced lifestyle – exercise regularly, eat well, sleep seven hours at least a day, laugh a lot, meditate, do yoga, see friends, enjoy our work, have regular holidays, be grateful for what we have and have a great relationship that supports us.

Most people would have to be brain dead not to know the importance of exercise , meditation and the other aspects I mentioned! Yet few people regularly do these activities – because of course, they have no time!

Not only is it the ‘age of materialism’, it’s also ‘the age of the quick fix’ – what can I do that takes four seconds and makes me feel great? Firstly, remember that to really allow our body-minds to recover from twentieth century life , we do need to pay attention to all aspects of our lifestyle. And make long term (and often dramatic) changes.

But for those moments where stress ‘catches’ us unawares, there are some ideas that provide effective and quick strategies for busy people.

Although the ideas may seem simple (and many of them are) they are not always easy to do when we most need to do them! That’s where the skill lies – in recognising we are stressed and then making time to do something to bring our body back to balance.

The problem is we can fool our minds, but we can’t fool our bodies. Our bodies store stress. We truck along in life thinking we are fine, handling everything, managing work and life. In fact, while we are combining huge hours and home life we often manage to avoid sickness .

Until we go on holidays! It would appear that high stress levels keep our adrenalin (stress hormone) levels high, which reduces the effectiveness of our immune systems. The adrenalin, although useful in short term physical stressful situations, has quite damaging long term effects. Our body – minds (we don’t have a separate mind and body – they are intricately linked) know that on holidays we have ‘time to get sick’. It’s almost like we ’save up’ to get sick on holidays. And we recover just in time for work again!

If this is a pattern in our life, sickness as soon as we go on holidays, it is a classic sign that we are not handling stress well enough along the way and we need to do something about it.

This article is the first in a series to give you some stress buster ideas. Begin to regularly practice some of the skills and different ways of thinking and before you know it, life will flow a little more easily; less things will bother you, people will say you are looking well, relaxed and you’ll laugh more. This probably means you are handling stress better. Your friends will probably wonder if you have had a personality transplant.

Remember, this ideas are just an aid. As they say on TV, if the symptoms persist, please see your doctor. If we are swamped, overwhelmed, burnt out, often the quickest path to recovery is to see a doctor, or qualified psychologist. If you decide to seek help (which is a smart way of dealing with these issues as opposed to sitting at home ’stewing with anxiety’, analysing yourself to death or turning into a workaholic to avoid thinking about problems), remember that if one person doesn’t work with you, or suit your style or if you don’t feel comfortable, find another qualified person with whom you feel you will progress.

“Think of the accumulating of stress as plaque on your mind , like plaque on your teeth. People take time to brush and floss their teeth every day but they do nothing to remove the plaque and debris from their mind”

Dr Robert D Willox Jr.

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