WEDNESDAY: LET GO OF EMBARRASSMENT AND SHAME DAY

“The world, I found, has a way of taking a man pretty much at his own rating. If he permits his loss to make him embarrassed and apologetic, he will draw embarrassment from others. But if he gains his own respect, the respect of those around him comes easily.”

Aviation pioneer and inventor Alexander de Seversky (1894-1974)

Embarrassment is basically being worried about what other people think of you, isn’t it? And is often defined as “the shame you feel when your inadequacy or guilt is made public.”

Note the word “your.” This is what you believe to be an inadequacy or guilt, and this is very important. It’s your fear of other people’s perceptions of you and what you do.

If you have respect for yourself and know your motivations and intentions to be pure and honest, why be worried what others will think? If you know you did the best, take comfort in that.

Words listed as synonyms with embarrassment are chagrin, mortification, humiliation, self-consciousness, shame, and being disconcerted and uncomfortable. All in all, as an emotion, this doesn’t seem very useful!

Today is the day for you to recall embarrassing moments and find a way to laugh at them! Explore what you were thinking at the time that made those moments embarrassing. Transform the memories with your heart—from chagrin and shame to joy in your heart. Laugh at yourself and with others!

Listen to what you say to yourself about those events. Then change your language and consciously look for the funny side. So many people waste decades being embarrassed—it peaks during the teenage years and some of us just don’t un-peak! In my opinion, it’s an unproductive use of time and means that other people will rule how you live your life.

My adored niece, Clelia, when she was nine, competed in a gymnastics competition. Since I have always been an enthusiastic person, she didn’t have to do much and I would clap, cheer and jump up and down. (She did her best to avoid eye contact with me and the rest of the family stayed as far away from me as possible, but that didn’t stop me!)

And then I overheard her say to a little friend, “She’s not my Mum; she’s only my aunt!” I have lived off that story for years! My desire was to encourage her, and show her how proud I was, out loud, and it was all done with a sincere heart. I figured it was good for her to see that behavior modeled, so she may feel free to do that with her own children one day. And she still loves me, which is most important! Of course, I am not invited to events with her any more! Just joking!

Go on—be yourself—live out loud! Stop allowing your negative thoughts and the fear of what other people think to rule your behavior and life. That is what embarrassment is—belittling yourself and letting what others think of you rule what you do, or how you behave, or how you live.

If you are enthusiastic or passionate about something, show it! If you dress differently, or look at things differently from others, don’t shove it down their throats, but don’t deny your way of looking at the world. Whose life is it anyway?

After you have laughed at the past, make a commitment to stop your own critical, denigrating thoughts about yourself, and never let the fear of what other people think change or stop you being the real you!

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